On Daughters, Christmas Trees, and Being a Better Listener.

A few years ago, my daughter wondered aloud why I did something the same way each year, despite it getting harder for me.  It was how I brought the Christmas tree up to the attic at the end of the holiday season. 

You see, I would haul the boxed up tree down the stairs each year to set it up. Our stairway has a ninety degree turn in it, which made it a little tricky, but not impossible.

It was putting it away that was becoming harder and harder. I had developed a system where I flipped the large and heavy box end over end to get it up the stairs and to make the turn.  She saw the struggle and wanted to help.    I said no. This approach worked, but it seemed to get harder and harder, and the box got a little more damaged each time I did it.  She then offered me an idea.

“Why not take the tree apart, and carry each of the three pieces up separately,” my adult daughter Bridget asked.   

My first reaction was negative.  It seems it always is.  I tend to think that the way I am doing things is the best way.  My favorite question at work always is, “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Of course, I think it’s a good idea, otherwise why would I suggest it.

In this case though, I stopped, and listened to my daughter.  I tried her approach.  It worked much better.  I’ve been doing it that way for years now.  I remember the moment I “heard” her and decided to try this approach. I think of it every year when I put the tree away.  Following her suggestion.  

As we move into 2022, this is one of my goals.  To become a better listener.  To be open to the idea that people, especially younger people, might have better ideas, better ways of doing things. I’ve been saving my back, and that Christmas Tree box for years now, because my daughter saw a better solution, and I listened. I realize that it doesn’t happen often enough.

In 2022, I’m going to try to listen more.  To everyone, especially smart people like my daughter.